Happosai Unleashed!
by Ron Dow75
Summary: Happosai gets his greatest desire! Lives will be changed! Spoilers for graphic novels 29, 31, & 33
1. A Curse is Like a Poisoned Life

Happosai Unleashed!   
  
By Ron Dow75  
  
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01) A Curse is Like a Poisoned Life  
  
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[WARNING: Spoilers for Viz vol. 27, 29, and 31]  
  
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In the family room, Mr. Tendou read from the morning   
  
paper, "It says here a UFO was spotted over the Sea of   
  
Japan."   
  
Ranma asked sarcastically, "Was it tiger striped?"   
  
Though with the weird stuff that had been happening since   
  
he arrived in Nerima, seeing an alien in a bikini out of   
  
the mangas wouldn't surprise him.   
  
"No. It reportedly was shaped like a giant flower."   
  
Akane stiffened, "Pink and Link!??" Though those two had   
  
almost poisoned her and the others, it was one of the few   
  
times she DID get to be a real heroine.   
  
Ranma snorted, "Don't jump to conclusions! Plant spells   
  
are a specialty of their village. OTHERS have gotta be able   
  
to do that kinda stuff, too."   
  
Akane laughed nervously, "Yes. You're right, Ranma.   
  
There's no reason to think WE'LL become involved."   
  
Her dad continued with his article, "The witnesses said   
  
it seemed to explode--"   
  
Suddenly there was an explosion outside in the sky.   
  
Ranma, Akane and Mr. Tendou ran out to see what had caused   
  
it.   
  
  
  
A huge, white flower was falling towards the garden in   
  
flames. Scorch marks and human-sized holes of the now   
  
raggedy bloom told that this had just been the final   
  
explosion it had suffered. They would have wondered how it   
  
could have gotten this far, if they didn't first have to   
  
figure out how it could fly in the first place.  
  
Clinging onto petals three times their own heights were   
  
the all too familiar Chinese girls. They were screaming for   
  
their lives.   
  
Thinking with his heart and not his head, Ranma ran for   
  
the Tendou concrete privacy wall, leaped on it, and then   
  
thrust himself upwards to his limit. He was just barely   
  
able to reach the twin sisters, and carrying them with him,   
  
one under each arm. Frightened, the two clung to him,   
  
causing him to lose what little momentum he still had with   
  
their added weight. They were pulling him off course. He   
  
would have to absorb the impact for all three of them with   
  
his own body. He looked over his shoulder at where they   
  
were going to land, and saw --???  
  
Happosai landed lightly on his feet ahead of them.   
  
"RANMA!! When will you LEARN to stop interfering in my   
  
business!?" He used that pipe of his to change RANMA'S   
  
direction with out changing the girls'. It was so abrupt   
  
that Ranma took most of their momentum with him as he flew   
  
over the Tendou wall.   
  
Happosai tossed something after the boy just before he   
  
saved the girls with his pipe's whirlwind, "Maybe THIS will   
  
help you remember!" It was a Happo fire bomb. BOOM!   
  
Akane realized, "Happosai's responsible for the   
  
explosions that ruined the giant flower!" Which luckily had   
  
landed in the koi pond, which extinguished most of the   
  
flames.   
  
  
  
The identically pretty, short hair girls in Capri pants   
  
were on their knees bowing to the evil gnome. "Brilliant,   
  
young herbalists from Yaocaicun, Pinke..."  
  
"...and Linke, see now the wisdom you teach..."  
  
"...We accept you as our master! Over."  
  
Happosai laughed, "I knew you'd see the light: Once I   
  
lit the fuse! *Ha, ha, ha!*"   
  
"We start right, now, Master!"   
  
The other one nodded, and joined her identical twin   
  
tossing seeds that seemed to come from out of nowhere.   
  
There was a nova burst of light.   
  
When Mr. Tendou could at last see, he cried, "My   
  
GARDEN!!!" A jungle of monstrous sized plants that rivaled   
  
the flying flower now filled every available centimeter of   
  
his compound, and then some. Not a blade of grass was to be   
  
seen beneath the vegetation and fungi.   
  
Akane screamed and stumbled backwards into the house as   
  
a thorny vine grew out in her direction. In his state of   
  
shock and loss, Mr. Tendou didn't move until he'd been   
  
pricked by a few of them. Then, not looking where he was   
  
going he stepped on a puff mushroom; it burst, sending out   
  
a cloud of spores that made him sneeze as if it were   
  
pepper.  
  
Inside, and waiting for the Pink and Link's trademark   
  
poison plants to invade the house itself, Akane said,   
  
"Where are Cologne's magic peacock fan and dragon staff   
  
when you need them!?"  
  
Having come from upstairs, Nabiki entered the family   
  
room saying, "I'd settle for some herbicide. (Industrial   
  
quantity, of course.)"   
  
Kasumi joined them from the kitchen, "The new landscape   
  
is pretty. But it lacks the esthetics of a true Japanese   
  
garden."   
  
  
  
The panda held up a sign, [Any bamboo?]  
  
Ranma could be heard diving in and rummaging through the   
  
dense thicket, "I KNOW you're in here, Old Freak!! When I   
  
get my hands on--OW! Stupid thorns! Hay-YAAA! Ayy! Ay-Yai-  
  
yai! Machete chop! --Hey! That's my good shirt! AND pants!"  
  
Meanwhile, Happosai walk into the house, followed by his   
  
fearful servants, Pink and Link. He said, "You know what to   
  
do, girls."   
  
Their heads bowed in defeat, they said, "Yes, Master.   
  
Over." They had on the same long-sleeved, silk shirts with   
  
tails that looked like flower petals. Besides the studded,   
  
leather armbands, they had on leather bodice with their   
  
names on it, Pink's in black, Link's in red.   
  
The evil, little man told them, "Remember, they must be   
  
in a specific order. So you WILL label them. Those plants   
  
from the order Solanaceae are to go in first."  
  
They said, "Yes, Master. Over." They made sure not to   
  
turn their backs on him and to keep their arms up near   
  
their breasts.  
  
He 'asked', "Kasumi, my dear, I will be needing your   
  
kitchen for the day. You don't mind, do you?"   
  
She smiled, "Oh, my, of COURSE not, Grandfather!"   
  
"I'll need your largest pot! Make that POTS!" He   
  
laughed, "The goulash is going to have a LOT of   
  
ingredients!"  
  
Soun Tendou recovered enough to cry, "Master! What is   
  
the meaning of this!?!"   
  
Happosai told his servants, "You tell them, my loyal   
  
servants. I have more preparations to make. Soun, you don't   
  
mind me using the phone?" He was gone before he could get a   
  
reply from any of them.   
  
Looking like trapped, scared animals, and angry about   
  
it, Pink said, "Master come to us for our knowledge of   
  
plants. Over."  
  
Link disagreed, "Master come to us for our collection of   
  
rare plants. Over."   
  
Pink nodded, "We have almost all poisons known."   
  
Akane did the pose, "Poi, poison!?!"  
  
Nabiki noted, "Enough to choke our yard."  
  
With a large sweatdrop, Mr. Tendou had to ask, "And, er,   
  
just WHO does the Master intend to use that quantity of   
  
poison on?"  
  
Ranma had finally found the house, "Yeah: WHO!!?!"  
  
  
  
Link said, "Himself, he say."   
  
Pink said, "Master intend poison himself. Over."   
  
Mr. Tendou and the panda started celebrating, blowing   
  
party horns and tossing confetti, while banners fell from   
  
the ceiling.   
  
His clothes badly ripped, the scratched Ranma threw the   
  
two fathers outside to experience what HE just had, "Don't   
  
you know by now Happosai wouldn't make our lives THAT   
  
easy!" He turned to the deadly twins, "What's his REAL   
  
game!?!"   
  
Link said, "Is ancient legend..."  
  
Pink said, "...One may become immune to all poisons..."  
  
Link said, "...by TAKING all poisons!"   
  
Pink said, "At same time! Over."   
  
Ranma started to twitch, "He's gonna make himself even   
  
HARDER to get rid of? Isn't he enough of a cockroach."   
  
Nabiki thought about the clues, "But there's a specific   
  
formula to make the old wives tale actually work. And   
  
Happosai's found it."   
  
Akane said, "STOLE it is more like it."   
  
That's when Happosai returned, "Given to me is more like   
  
it. As a reward." He started spinning one of his very ego-  
  
centric histories, "That's right: It happened when I was   
  
but a youth, a mere...well, when I was sixteen. It was   
  
given to me as a token of affection from a beautiful, young   
  
maiden I had to leave behind to continue my training....   
  
*Sigh!*"  
  
Akane didn't buy it, "Isn't that the same story you used   
  
to explain how you came to have the Naban Mirror?"   
  
Ranma said, "And Cologne showed us you STOLE that from   
  
her and her village!"   
  
Happosai threw a tantrum, "No! No! It was a gift! A sign   
  
of our eternal friendship! And a promise to renew that   
  
relationship one day!"   
  
Happosai had the ability to visualize his fantasies so   
  
well that others, too, could see them. Akane had enough of   
  
the training to see, "He may have stolen it, but it doesn't   
  
look like it was from Cologne. This girl has long, wavy,   
  
red hair."   
  
Red hair?? Ranma studied the face carefully. No, it   
  
definitely wasn't his girl form. But it was sickening to   
  
have to see Happosai's vision of his young self, "You're   
  
STILL thinkin' you were once a tall BLONDE!?"  
  
Nabiki could just barely make it out, "With a ponytail?"   
  
Kasumi smiled, "Why not project what you feel you're   
  
like on the inside."  
  
Akane muttered, "Too bad WE have to look at his   
  
outside."  
  
Suddenly, strangers coming down the hall called out,   
  
"Icemen!" A line of men in uniforms came walking by the   
  
garden hall toting blocks of ice, and bags of ice cubes,   
  
regular and dry.   
  
Happosai instantaneously recovered his dignity. He   
  
directed the men, "That's right: There! Take them into the   
  
bath room down and around this hall! Second door at the   
  
end! Just dump it all on the floor!"   
  
Soun Tendou emerged from the jungle, "Who's going to PAY   
  
for all of this, Master!?!"  
  
The panda signed, [I'm indigent.]   
  
Ranma wanted to threaten the Freak, "HOW are you going   
  
to keep it from melting!?!! How long does it TAKE to make   
  
your strange brew!?!"   
  
Happosai's answer was some small wildflowers, "Glacier   
  
Flowers, found only on the highest slopes of the   
  
Himalayas." His attention left the others, "Speaking of   
  
rare plants, you'd better get started, my servants! It's   
  
time to reap my reward!"   
  
The Chinese twins bowed, and said, "Yes, Master!" They   
  
hurried away. The sooner the evil, little monster had his   
  
way, the sooner they hoped they could be free of him.   
  
Ranma ran after them, "Oh, no you don't! There's a   
  
principle at stake, here! *I* may not be able to poison   
  
him, but that don't mean..."   
  
Akane confronted Happosai, "You chose this time because   
  
you knew Cologne and Shampoo were back in China, didn't   
  
you?"   
  
Making it sound like he'd done a good deed, he said, "I   
  
HELPED to make their visit to their home a pleasant one.   
  
Those two girls were on their way to waylay them when I met   
  
them."   
  
Nabiki said, "So it looks like there's going to be no   
  
help from them this time. We're on our own."   
  
///  
  
Making her way to the kitchen, the girl-Ranma heard Link   
  
tell Happosai, "...Yes, Master. That is what this flower   
  
is. Ov--Erk! Eee, ya!!" She was in such a hurry to get away   
  
from the creep's hands, she nearly bumped into the   
  
pigtailed girl. Ranma glared at her.  
  
Ranma was a sight when she limbed into the kitchen.   
  
Covered with different plant liquids, seeds and spores, her   
  
clothes were ripped and torn, and his bruised face had   
  
cuts, scratches and thorn stabs. "Who heard of plants that   
  
put OUT fires--And then attacks the guy who started it!?   
  
They BROKE into a water main!!"   
  
And there were more plants in the kitchen. They were on   
  
every available counter space.   
  
Kasumi was tending a huge pot on the stove. "Grandfather   
  
Happosai, do I put the potato or the tomato greens in   
  
next?"  
  
"You p, put the tobacco p, plant in next, Kasumi, my, my   
  
dear." Happosai couldn't get too close to the heat, because   
  
he had bags of ice tied around him and on his head.   
  
Ranma cried, "How can THOSE plants be in an ancient   
  
formula: They CAME from the Americas!!"   
  
Shivering, Happosai said, "Hummph! Wh, who SAID it was   
  
an ANCIENT for, formula? If, if you want immunity against   
  
ALL poisons, you have, have to include the MODERN ones, as-  
  
s well." Uh, oh, he really WAS up to something serious; he   
  
barely noticed the parts of her body that could be seen   
  
through the gaping rip-holes in her clothes.  
  
Her frustration erupted, "Then what about the man-MADE   
  
ones!!?!" Despite her aching muscles, and sticking body   
  
Ranma got into the fighting pose, "If I can't stop the   
  
growers, I'll stop the user!"  
  
"Oh, my. Would you, Ranma?"   
  
Happosai pulled out three flowers, "You r, remember the   
  
Flower of Enfeeblement, an, and the Fl, Flower of   
  
Adoration?"  
  
Ranma reflexively took a step backward in revulsion,   
  
"The twins threatened us with them last time. Stick the   
  
flowers in the hair, and you become like Kasumi!! No   
  
offense, Kasumi."   
  
"None taken, Ranma."   
  
The little freak smiled evilly as he used the toxic   
  
bouquet to move Ranma away from the door, "But d, do you   
  
have any idea what ha, happens wh, when they're combined   
  
with-th THIS flower!!" It was as blue as the old freak was   
  
becoming.   
  
"Of course NOT! What'd I look like, a botanist!?"  
  
Laughing his evilest, Happosai ran out of the kitchen.   
  
It took a second for Ranma to be able to get her legs to   
  
work, so worried had she been of becoming the ultimate in   
  
femaleness. By the time he caught up with him, the fricking   
  
freak was in the bath room.   
  
Ranma was struck by the frigid air from all of the ice   
  
that now covered the room with the furo tub. It was almost   
  
like being in the Arctic. And Happosai had buried himself   
  
in it.   
  
Ranma braved the ice, "Tryin' to hide!?!"   
  
The little man was already shaking and purple-blue, "N,   
  
nah, not, at,t,t all. Th, this is part,t of the treat,t,   
  
treatment."   
  
Ranma tried to figure him out, "What? You use cryo-  
  
something to low, lower your metabolism so the poison takes   
  
LONGER to, to work? Is THAT how y, your body h, has time to   
  
adjust to them?"  
  
Happosai smiled as if he'd already won, "N, not quiet."   
  
And he tossed the evil, mind-altering bouquet at Ranma.   
  
They broke at Ranma's feet. The cold had made them that   
  
brittle. Ranma noticed, "Wh, where's the THIRD flow,   
  
flower!?! The one with the secret power."   
  
Happosai cried triumphantly, "I, I ate it!! You, you   
  
want t,to see wh,what its power is?!! *Ha, ha, ha!*"   
  
Ranma knew she HAD to attack now! She leaped. Her heels   
  
only hit the ice where Happosai HAD been. The Old Freak had   
  
jumped into the heated water in the tub: Splash!   
  
There was a great cry as Happosai flexed growing muscles   
  
to rip out of his now too tight purple ninja costume. He   
  
was changing shape, growing larger!   
  
Ranma said in horror, "What kind of monster is the Freak   
  
becoming!?!!"   
  
The tall, slim, nude, blond girl reveled, "YES!! The   
  
Flower of Youth has given me back my REAL form!!!"   
  
///  
  
Ranma stood knee-deep in ice, stunned. "You look just   
  
like, like Happosai's fantasy of himself wh, when he w, was   
  
young."   
  
Smiling very pleased, the woman traced the curves of her   
  
nude body, "The only fantasy was that I had been a guy. I   
  
didn't want to deal with what I'd been forced to become."   
  
" "Forced of be, come"?"   
  
She hugged her bare butt, "I had fallen into the "Spring   
  
of Dirty, Old Man" and then later became stuck."   
  
Ranma said, "S, Stuck!??" A horror of her own.  
  
The girl had returned her hands to her C cup breasts,   
  
"How I've missed you, my lovelies!"   
  
Ranma frowned, "Y, you may not be an o, old man, b, but   
  
it looks like you're still dirty."  
  
Reluctantly the blonde stopped caressing herself, "It's   
  
the habits of three hundred years of being a degenerate   
  
lecher." Then she told her boobs, "I'll get back to you."   
  
Ranma thought she was going to kiss them.   
  
"Is THIS wh, what you were really after?! --What a,   
  
about your ul, ultimate POISON immunization!?!"   
  
"I already made THAT, over a century ago," she stepped   
  
out of the tub onto the ice.  
  
Exasperated, Ranma cried, "Then WHAT w, was the idea of,   
  
of disrupting everybody's life the w, way you did!?!!"   
  
"Brrr! The idea WAS to disrupt y, your lives!" she said,   
  
quickly but carefully making her way over the ice. "This w,   
  
was TOO important to let y, you know what I was REALLY   
  
after! You, Ranma, w, would've tried to DISTROY the Flower   
  
of Youth!"   
  
Ranma said, "Y'know, , sh, she's right."   
  
In the laundry room and off of the ice, Happosai took   
  
off, bounding and skipping into the hall, "Yahoo!! Hurray!   
  
I at long LAST get to actually put ON my silky darlings!   
  
Bras! PANTIES!! Here your sweet Happosai comes for you!!   
  
*He, he, hee!!*"  
  
  
  
Ranma took off after her, "Wait! You can't run through   
  
the house without any clothes on!!"   
  
"*Hee, he, he* Why not? You do it all the time!"   
  
"*I* have my underpants on!"   
  
"And I'LL soon have my PANTIES on! Lovely, lacy, cool   
  
and satiny, silky PANTIES!!"  
  
Everybody in the family room gave extreme reactions when   
  
they saw a laughing, naked blonde jete by like a ballerina.   
  
Pink asked, "Is that custom of house?"   
  
Pink said, "Let us hope not. Over."  
  
  
  
Ranma was close on Happosai's bare behind, "OK,   
  
Freakette, you STILL have a lot more explainin' to do!"   
  
She found her in Happosai's room. In less time than it   
  
took to describe it, the blonde had taken out all of her   
  
collection of stolen and laundered lingerie and thrown them   
  
in a huge pile in the center of the living room. It reached   
  
halfway to the ceiling! And she was swimming in it: She   
  
would porpoise with just her shins and feet passing through   
  
them; she would then leap up into the air, do a twisting   
  
backflip, and dive deep into the lingerie; she would   
  
reemerge rubbing them against her body. And all this time   
  
she had a look of ecstatic contentment on her face.  
  
Ranma was tempted to reach in and pull her out, "You   
  
HAVEN'T told us how you became the Old Freak, and how your   
  
"Flower of Youth" changed you back!!"   
  
The woman's was instantly angry, "Ran-ma! Let me enjoy   
  
this precious moment alone with my darlings!! Happo Silk   
  
Storm of Doom!" Like a thunder goddess directing her   
  
tempest at an offender with both hands, lingerie, panties   
  
and bras and some hose and garter belts sprang at Ranma.   
  
She used her battle aura to send the underwear straight at   
  
the redhead, where they wrapped themselves around the teen,   
  
constricting her like a nest of pythons! She tore at them,   
  
straining to get them off. The elastics yielded but did not   
  
give. But what little room she did give herself to breathe   
  
was quickly taken away as more lingerie tightened   
  
themselves around every part of her body.   
  
She passed out.   
  
///   
  
Happosai was still closed up in her room when it came   
  
time to eat supper.   
  
The skin that was not covered by bandages and guy-  
  
Ranma's change of clothes showed the red marks where the   
  
elastics had dug into his skin. The pigtailed guy was not   
  
in a good mood. "Hrh! What's she DOIN' in there?"   
  
Nabiki said, "You ARE naïve."   
  
From the family doorway, Akane glared at her sister,   
  
"Ranma, Happosai is just trying on the different underwear   
  
she has. She can't make up her mind WHICH ones to wear."   
  
Ranma still snorted, "Hmh! She shoulda stayed a guy.   
  
It's easier to figure out. And there's less of it." When   
  
Akane started taking placing the meals on the family table,   
  
Ranma suddenly had something ELSE to think about, "Why   
  
isn't Kasumi doin' that?! You, you didn't MAKE supper, did   
  
you!?!"   
  
Everybody else around the table was ALSO afraid. Pink   
  
and Link noticed. "Is it poisoned?"  
  
Akane told them, "NO! It's not poisoned!! Honestly, try   
  
to help out around here! If you MUST know, Kasumi ASKED me   
  
to prepare supper for her."  
  
Ranma wasn't convinced, "And why would she--"   
  
Kasumi entered with what looked like a black bowling   
  
ball on a serving tray, "It's done!"   
  
The Chinese twins marveled, "The legendary Universal   
  
Poison Immunization!"   
  
Kasumi apologized, "Yes. But I am afraid all of the   
  
ingredients boiled down to just his one pill."   
  
Ranma's eyes bulged a little, "That's a pill?" But then   
  
he remembered the size of the antidote pill Link had used   
  
on him.   
  
Ranma's pop said, "And since the Master said she already   
  
had taken hers, there's only ONE person the pill should go   
  
to."   
  
Mr. Tendou nodded his head, "Mm, hm! I quiet agree,   
  
Saotome."   
  
Nabiki said, "I couldn't agree more."   
  
Ranma looked around, suspicious. Were each of them   
  
jockeying for dibs on it? Or were they.... "Oh, no!! I'M   
  
not takin' it! If I'm immune from Akane's toxic disasters,   
  
she'll expect me to EAT her disgusting slop!!"   
  
Akane screamed, "TOXIC!? DISGUSTING!!? SLOP!!!" Looking   
  
around for some way to hurt him, she grabbed the huge pill   
  
and force fed it to the jerk, "HERE! Fill your mouth with   
  
THIS!! I hope you CHOKE on it!!"  
  
Meanwhile, Pink and Link had slipped away to steal the   
  
scroll with the formula on it.  
  
///   
  
When morning came, Mr. Tendou was out sitting on his   
  
garden porch, bawling, "My garden! My garden!..." Nearly   
  
all of the invading plants were gone, or withered. But the   
  
leaves were gone from most of the original bushes and   
  
trees, and the yards were full of holes where the   
  
vegetation HAD put down roots.   
  
Pink and Link, too, were gone.   
  
The only one happy was the panda, who had found bamboo   
  
shoots that were growing even faster than they normally   
  
did. No sooner had it eaten some, but they started   
  
sprouting again.  
  
Kasumi was serving breakfast when she saw guy-Ranma   
  
coming up the garden hall; she smiled, "God morning, Ranma!   
  
And how are you feeling today?"   
  
Ranma turned green, and ran back down the hall towards   
  
the toilet.   
  
Only partially awake, Nabiki commented, "He STILL has   
  
something left to heave? He was at it all night. You have   
  
to wonder if he's lost his immunity to poisons."   
  
Kasumi suggested, "We can always poison Ranma to find   
  
out. But we should wait until his stomach has had a chance   
  
to settle down."   
  
Akane was silent, full of mixed emotions, including   
  
guilt. She hadn't slept well.  
  
The still unfamiliar voice of girl-Happosai said,   
  
"Ranma's problem is that ice IS an important component of   
  
the formula. It DOES slow down the metabolism, giving one's   
  
body the chance to adjust."   
  
Kasumi blushed, "Oh, my!"/ Akane grimaced./ And Nabiki   
  
said, "Yowza!" Happo-chan was dressed in matching purple   
  
bra, panties, hose and garter belt with pink garters.   
  
Happo-chan modeled her lingerie, "I decided to wear this   
  
in honor of Ranma! This is the SAME type of darlings she   
  
wore HER first time. Don't you just LOVE these sexy   
  
lovelies?!"   
  
Kasumi said, "Er, yes. Lovely."   
  
Akane told her, "Now, can you put some CLOTHES on!!?!"   
  
Happo-chan sat down male-style at the family table,   
  
knees out. "I don't WANT to. I've spent two centuries   
  
looking at ladies' underthings, and I'm not ready to hide   
  
them from view."   
  
Nabiki said, "Calm down, sis. At least SHE covers her   
  
boobs. Unlike SOME girls we know." Ranma, of course, walked   
  
around in her boxers with only a towel around her shoulders   
  
as her concession to propriety. Sometimes.  
  
Though still upset, Akane conceded, "Yes, it could be   
  
worse."   
  
Ranma had heard Happo-chan's voice. She now came running   
  
back at full speed. She was wet from when she had slipped   
  
on the melting ice in the bath room. She had with her the   
  
plastic bath pail. It was filled with icy water.   
  
She tossed it: Happo-chan screamed!!   
  
Akane hid her eyes./ "Oh, MY!" /And Nabiki said, "It   
  
just got worse." (But she noted, "Not bad for a man his   
  
size.")  
  
"RAN-MA!!!" yelled the bald gnome. The lingerie was too   
  
big and loose to hide his shriveled nakedness.   
  
Ranma gloated, "HA! You're NOT cured!"   
  
"I didn't say I WAS!" The Evil Master snatched Ranma's   
  
pant legs: "Happo Quick Change Martial Artists"!"   
  
Seemingly with one tug, he stripped Ranma of ALL of her   
  
clothes, boxers included.   
  
"Oh, my! Oh, my!"   
  
Akane asked, "What happened?!!"   
  
Nabiki advised, "Akane, don't look." Snap! Snap! She   
  
took a series of photos. (Avoiding getting the old man in   
  
the shots, of course.)   
  
Happosai ducked between Ranma and, jumping, ran one   
  
finger down her back. Ranma's temperature jumped as every   
  
nerve ending above her pelvis felt stimulated. She fought   
  
to give in to the strong impulses electrifying her nerve   
  
endings. But quaking with excitement, her knees could no   
  
longer support her. She plopped to her bare bottom.   
  
Kasumi was prepared; she held up the teakettle she'd   
  
brought, "Hot water?"   
  
Happosai took it from her, "Thank you, Kasumi!" He   
  
poured it over himself, becoming the tall, slim blonde   
  
again.   
  
The nude girl THEN threw the kettle outside out of   
  
sight. "Ranma, don't you EVER do anything like that again!!   
  
I'm still your master, but more than that: You WILL treat   
  
me with the same respect you show ANY woman!" (Nabiki   
  
pointed her camera at the naked Happo-chan as well now.   
  
Snap! Snap!)  
  
"Respect!! RESPECT!! What about the LACK of respect   
  
you're always shown ME!!?!"   
  
"If I DIDN'T respect you, you'd be a quivering mass of   
  
horny flesh right now! I COULD have gone BELOW the waist!   
  
Think about what would be turned on THEN!"   
  
Ranma did. Though it had been calling her the past   
  
months, it WAS the most female of her female parts. If she   
  
gave into temptation, it WOULD be harder to maintain he was   
  
a guy. It was a wet and slippery slope towards becoming a   
  
girl.   
  
And on top of that, if Happosai DID do it, she would be   
  
in front of the Tendous! And if Akane thought she was a   
  
pervert before...!  
  
Suddenly Ranma realized, "You knew this technique all   
  
along! You could have done it to me ANY time!"   
  
Girl-Happosai snorted, "I could have done "it" to you   
  
any times, any way. But if you REMEMBER, you're a virgin."   
  
She picked up the purple lingerie and started putting it   
  
back on. "I'm not a rapist. Nor the sadist you think I am."   
  
Kasumi smiled, "I always knew that about Grandfather   
  
Happosai." Ranma and Akane, though, were seeing it for the   
  
first time. "A real pervert wouldn't have laundered and   
  
ironed used panties."   
  
The truth sinking in, Ranma muttered, "When you were   
  
sick with that cold, you wanted to sleep with me BECAUSE I   
  
was a girl virgin. I AM a virgin. ...You let me be one."   
  
Happo-chan told them, "I fell into the Spring of Drowned   
  
Dirty, Old Man. But that didn't mean I didn't have SOME   
  
control over the lusts. I fought with all the will I had   
  
left: My female soul wouldn't LET me do most of the   
  
terrible things I'm capable of doing." Taking time from   
  
adjusting her bra, she caressed the material, "I was able   
  
to sublimate most of my perversions into relatively   
  
harmless fetishes like lingerie. Oh, the irony: The very   
  
SYMBOL of what I was no longer!" She forced herself to stop   
  
playing with the material (and herself), "Ahem! It became   
  
worse over the years, after I lost my ability to change   
  
back to my true form with hot water."   
  
Tears started to fill her eyes, "How I yearned to be   
  
able to be a girl again! To wear lovely, satin bras and   
  
darling, silky panties!... How I wished I could grasp   
  
supple breasts in my hands again!...How I desired to--"  
  
Akane cried, "We GET the picture!!!"   
  
Ranma hung her head, "I guess I, uh, sorta misjudged   
  
you. A little." (How could she WANT boobs like the ones   
  
Ranma was looking down on?)  
  
Happo-chan started spinning her history. This time his   
  
audience was more prepared to believe her: In this vision,   
  
Happosai was the same tall blonde as before, but, of course   
  
female. And with her was the same red haired girl as   
  
before. "When we were young, I and my best friend were   
  
engaged by our fathers to two of the biggest idiots in the   
  
province. Brothers. But their family was rich, and that was   
  
ALL that mattered to our families. On the night before our   
  
weddings, I and her escaped. We swore NEVER to return. And   
  
NEVER to marry.   
  
"We wanted a life of adventure! We wanted to become   
  
respected, as people in our OWN right! MASTERS of our fate!   
  
The ONLY way a female could do that in those days was by   
  
becoming a martial artist. If you can beat the snort out of   
  
people, they generally let you have your way.   
  
"But there we were sixteen-year-old maidens with NO   
  
training at all. And it was unlikely we could find a   
  
sensei. Not one who wouldn't expect favors in return. And   
  
even if we DID do as our master told us to, it was unlikely   
  
he WOULD teach us what we needed to know to beat the crap   
  
out of him."   
  
Akane said, "But you heard stories about Juusenkyo."   
  
"From the pet cloud I had. He told me."   
  
Ranma's willingness to believe wavered, " "Spring of   
  
Drowned Cloud"?"   
  
Nabiki told him, "Fog, dummy."   
  
"Ah, how he was devoted to me, and would do anything I   
  
asked him to. He flew us to the place where he got HIS   
  
curse. In our excitement, I and my friend BOTH jumped into   
  
what we thought was the Spring of Drowned Sensei." She   
  
bowed her head. "That's my very tragic story."   
  
Ranma asked, "Are you sure this isn't "The Monkey King"?   
  
Or maybe "Dragon Ball"?"  
  
Happo-chan whacked her hard on the head, "Every word I   
  
told you is true!"   
  
Nabiki said, "So you WANTED to be a man. You thought men   
  
had an easier time in this life than a woman."   
  
The blonde nodded. "But I ALSO knew I could become a   
  
girl again just by adding hot water." She became very sad   
  
at the next thought. "But I didn't know there is a limit on   
  
how many times you can change when you're cursed."   
  
Girl-Ranma cried, "WHAT!?!!" She knew fear.  
  
"It takes energy to change. Gradually, hotter and hotter   
  
water is needed ...Until only scalding water will do."   
  
Akane was inspired, "Ice!! You lowered your body   
  
temperature so that you COULD change with ordinary hot   
  
water."   
  
Happo-chan looked at Ranma, "But, again, that trick can   
  
only be used so many times. Over time, you have to become   
  
colder and colder."  
  
Ranma looked in the face of doom. There would become a   
  
time when she could NOT become a guy again. But, no, damn   
  
it!! There HAD to be an answer--And that answer was, "The   
  
Flower of YOUTH!!"   
  
Happo-chan smiled, "Now you see, my pupil: The Flower of   
  
Youth RETURNED me to the way I was just after I became that   
  
accursed abomination."   
  
Nabiki understood, "It reset your body, and the curse.   
  
For awhile, you'll be able to change back and forth with   
  
the same temperature of water as Ranma."   
  
Happo-chan grinned, "LESS! I did a little tinkering   
  
along the way while I still could. I dare say I can become   
  
the female me again using hot TAP water."   
  
THAT made Ranma glummer. She had to use STEAMING water.   
  
But she saw that there WAS a hope, "You'll show me how *I*   
  
can turn down the heat?!"   
  
Suddenly, for no apparent reason, Happo-chan's attitude   
  
and posture changed. This was not one of Happosai's   
  
mercurial mood swings. Her angles softened as her curves   
  
became more relaxed; she seemed to shrink a few centimeters   
  
as she slumped forward and lowered her head. It was as if   
  
she'd become--Ranma looked at Happo-chan's hair: "The   
  
Flowers of Enfeeblement and Adoration! Combined they are   
  
the Flower of Womanhood!!"  
  
Akane remembered, "...Anyone who has the flowers in   
  
their hair turns into the PERFECT housewife!"  
  
Nabiki had heard the horror story, "...And no matter   
  
what you do to them, they WON'T defend themselves!"  
  
"No offense taken," Kasumi said without any of them   
  
having to ask her to excuse them for the similarity of her   
  
life and a poisoned one.   
  
The totally nude Ranma stood up to take the flowers out   
  
of the girl's hair, "Who could have DONE such a terrible   
  
thing!?!"   
  
"WHO indeed!" laughed a little boy as he dove between   
  
deep into Ranma's bosom.   
  
While the redhead screamed, Akane recognized the brat   
  
who'd glomped onto Ranma: "Lukkyosai!"   
  
Nabiki said, "Of course: HE'S Happosai's old girl   
  
friend!" When the last time they'd seen "HIM" in one of   
  
Happosai's visions, he had long, wavy red hair, too!  
  
Akane said, "THAT dirty.... Oh, right. "Spring of   
  
Drowned...." Who had recently jumped into "Spring of   
  
Drowned Child". He could be a little boy OR an old man.  
  
While Ranma was beating on the kid who was really 300-  
  
something-years-old, a girl's hand reached out and grabbed   
  
the brat where he hurts. "Ow!"   
  
It was Happo-chan, "I THOUGHT you might try that trick,   
  
Lucky. So I slipped a florist's flower holder under my   
  
hair." It sounded stupid, but that was EXACTLY how Shampoo   
  
had defeated Pink and Link when they used the Flower of   
  
Womanhood on her. Happosai was always looking for new   
  
techniques.  
  
Lucky looked over his small shoulders at the beautiful   
  
girl that was holding him by the crotch of his pants, "And   
  
*I* thought you'd try something like THAT. Say aw!" And he   
  
flicked a small mushroom at Happo-chan's open mouth.   
  
Happo-chan spit it back out into the brat's mouth. She   
  
then flung kid over the Tendou wall, and out of sight. She   
  
said, "An Age Mushroom. He wants me to be as young as he   
  
is: He's jealous *I* got hips, and HE can't become a girl   
  
again!" She bounded out of the house and across the garden.   
  
Still in the purple lingerie set, she jumped over the   
  
carefully ignorant fathers and onto the Tendou privacy   
  
wall. (When did she put on the high heels?) Prepared to   
  
deal with Lukkyosai away from the others, she paused to   
  
stretch her arm up, to say good-bye, "I shall return, my   
  
love!!" And with that, she was gone.   
  
Nabiki didn't like that, "She sounded serious."   
  
Akane became pale, "Happosai lo, loves one of us!?! As a   
  
GIRL!!"   
  
Ranma groaned, "No! No! Don't I have ENOUGH people   
  
sayin' that to me!" She shuddered in disgust,   
  
"Happosai!?!!"   
  
Kasumi said, "Oh, my." She thought she knew who the   
  
blonde woman meant. "No wonder Happosai left me out."  
  
`  
  
The End...   
  
`  
  
[I respelled "Rakkyosai", because I have come to realize to   
  
that when Takahashi was naming him, she used the English   
  
phrase "Happy go lucky".]  
  
[This story is not open-ended. There will only be a few   
  
chapters, and dependent on how much demand there is for   
  
it.] 


	2. Who's Responsible for a Teenager?

Happosai Unleashed!  
  
By Ron Dow75   
  
`  
  
[WARNING: Spoilers for Viz Vol. 18, 27, 28, 29, and 31]  
  
`  
  
2) Who's Responsible for a Teenager?   
  
`  
  
`  
  
It was homeroom period at Furinkan. Class 1-F's kid   
  
teacher, Miss Hinako, studied the slip of paper with Dr.   
  
Tofu's signature again; "Isn't it the custom for notes   
  
from a doctor to EXCUSE you from school?"  
  
Akane explained, "But isn't it better to WANT to go to   
  
school?!"   
  
Miss Hinako said, "While I admire her wanting to further   
  
her education, there are OTHER places of education. In   
  
Japan, there is no requirement that a person have a high   
  
school education. Just a junior high one." She, of course,   
  
looked like she hadn't even graduated elementary school.   
  
She did, though, dress the part of an adult, today in a   
  
yellow double-knit dress.   
  
Nabiki said, "Let me handle this. Miss Hinako, while   
  
there is no REQUIREMENT that you accept her, there is no   
  
requirement that you NOT accept her, either. You cannot   
  
keep her out without good reason."   
  
The preteen in mind and body blinked at this logic. She   
  
then turned to the woman in question, "Didn't you already   
  
graduate?"   
  
Kasumi smiled, "Oh, my, yes. I'm nineteen."   
  
Guy-Ranma told the little kid who was their "elder",   
  
"Wouldn't you like a motherly type around?" Kasumi without   
  
her apron was certainly dressed like young one.  
  
Miss Hinako became excited at the idea, "She can be my   
  
teacher's assistant! She can do all of the little things   
  
for me!"   
  
Ranma muttered, "You NEED somebody to do that, you   
  
scatterbrained, little---"   
  
Akane whispered, harshly, "Ranma! We want to keep Kasumi   
  
WITH us!?! Miss Hinako has to go to OTHER classrooms during   
  
the day." In Japan it was the TEACHERS that moved from   
  
classroom to classroom during the day, not the students.  
  
Ranma told her, "One battle at a time."   
  
Nabiki reminded them, "At least Hinako has that Happo-  
  
trick of hers. It HAS defeated Happosai before. And isn't   
  
protecting Kasumi from HER the reason we brought big sister   
  
to school?" Happosai turning into a girl had allowed her to   
  
express feelings she couldn't while trapped as an old man.   
  
Ranma crossed her arms, "Hmf! That is IF it's Kasumi the   
  
girl-Freak has a thing for." Ranma was unwilling to admit   
  
that somebody could NOT be interested in his girl-form. Not   
  
only did it seem to HIM the redhead drew more attention   
  
than the other girls around her, his overly competitive   
  
spirit wanted her to win even at THAT showdown. It was one   
  
way he COULD fight a girl, thanks to his CODE.  
  
Meanwhile, Kasumi was serving as T.A., "Another juice   
  
box and cookie, Miss Hinako?"   
  
"Yeay!"   
  
Ranma urged, "Easy on the sugar, Kasumi! She gets   
  
hyper!" And HE was the one who usually seemed to pay for   
  
it.   
  
The murmurs among the classmates shifted from the   
  
perfect Kasumi (too perfect to be believed some felt) to   
  
the vision who'd just entered the room. She was a tall,   
  
slim, blue-eyed blonde with the high ponytail. Though she   
  
looked sixteen she was definitely NOT in any kind of a   
  
school uniform. Her long legs in light purple hose were   
  
topped by dark purple shorts that didn't hide her pink   
  
garters; and the dark purple, short-sleeved top that JUST   
  
covered her light purple bra. (The guys discovered they   
  
could see the bra if they got their heads low enough.)   
  
With all of her flashing, she became instantly disliked   
  
by the girls, who were stuck wearing the frumpy school   
  
jumper and blouse uniform. (She even wore outdoor shoes:   
  
Heels!) Ranma and Akane, on the other hand, had better   
  
reasons to abhor her.   
  
Nabiki announced, "Well, there's my cue to exit. Ciao,   
  
everybody! Have fun."   
  
Miss Hinako was already starting to feel the effect of   
  
the sugar, as she ran up to the blonde teen, "Whee!   
  
Somebody ELSE to teach? And who are you, Miss?!"   
  
The girl smiled at her as if she was thinking of a   
  
wicked joke. She gave the teacher her note. "I'm here to   
  
attend class, Miss."   
  
Miss Hinako read from the permission slip, "Miss Inkogu   
  
Nito? *Giggle* That sounds almost ENGLISH! I'm an English   
  
teacher, you know."   
  
"I know."   
  
In Nabiki's haste to get out of the line of fire, she   
  
almost stumbled over a boy coming into 1-F. Though he   
  
wasn't a kid, he was on the short side for a teenager; and   
  
he was dressed in the navy blue plebe uniform some high   
  
school still made guys wear. Furinkan, however, wasn't one   
  
of those high schools.   
  
Since he was down near her hem, he decided to lift it up   
  
and peek under it. Nabiki told him, "I'm wearing cotton   
  
underwear. Nothing silk, satin or taffeta. Sporty, not   
  
lacy." That loosened the guy's grip long enough for Nabiki   
  
to escape back to her own homeroom.   
  
Akane too recognized the boy. Less than an hour ago,   
  
he'd been a kindergartener; she said, "Age Mushrooms!"   
  
Apparently they had been among the plants that Pink and   
  
Link had accelerated the growth of. What other plants had   
  
Happosai had saved for his use?  
  
Inkogu Nito said to the teacher, "And this is Lukkyosai.   
  
We used to go to the same school."   
  
Ranma glared at the new girl, "You never went to   
  
school!"   
  
Her blue eyes glared back, "Oh, yeah!? You haven't heard   
  
of the School of Hard Knocks!"  
  
"Then you weren't the students! You were the ones MAKIN'   
  
it hard!!"   
  
Daisuke said, "She sure is making me---" Whap! Sayuri   
  
hit him with a loose-leaf binder.  
  
Sayuri told him, "I DON'T want to hear that!"  
  
Lukkyosai zipped up to her, "Nice spirit! I always had a   
  
thing of girls in ponytails!" Whack! Inkogu hit him on head   
  
with her fist.   
  
The blonde with the ponytail said, "And *I* don't want   
  
to hear YOU say that. Remember the deal we made."  
  
Ranma picked the runt teen up by the scruff of his   
  
uniform; he threatened, "Have you ever heard of the "Cradle   
  
from Hell"?" It was one of the most disgusting things that   
  
a guy could do to another guy. And if Lukkyosai had the   
  
same male-phobia as Happosai---  
  
Miss Hinako announced, "I sense a naughty---No! A very   
  
naughty delinquent!" Guys and girls scrambled out of their   
  
seats.  
  
Ranma said, "Uh, oh!" He quickly held up the pipsqueak   
  
in front of him.   
  
"Happo 5-yen---"  
  
Lukkyosai challenged, "I'm much more naughty than   
  
THAT!!" And he refused to let ANY battle energy out that   
  
she could get hold of.  
  
For his impertinence, Miss Hinako changed to, "Happo 50-  
  
YEN Satsu: Ja! Byo! Tsu! Aku!..."   
  
Lukkyosai, magician-like, held up 5-yens between each   
  
finger of a hand. Five coins also with holes. "Lucky 25-yen   
  
Satsu!"  
  
"...Ma!" Hinako's green aura reached out through the   
  
hole in her coin to sap the wicked energy she'd sensed   
  
before. The tendrils came back, pulling the delinquent's   
  
aura through the holes in his own smaller coins. And the   
  
girl teacher became more definitively female.   
  
Inkogu cried, "NOW!" as she pressed certain points on   
  
the transforming Hinako's back and right breast.   
  
Akane cried, "Happosai!!"  
  
Angry, Ranma said, "Even as a girl, she's a pervert!"   
  
And threw the other one at the shapely blonde. Fight a girl   
  
pervert with a guy pervert!  
  
But Lukkyosai somersaulted, changing his trajectory,   
  
"Sweet!! She grows up NICE---" At the moment when he was   
  
the most vulnerable to a counter maneuver, girl-Happosai   
  
flipped him around with one finger.   
  
Lukkyosai came somersaulting back, to bounce off Ranma:   
  
While the runt landed on his feet, Ranma crashed into the   
  
desk-seats behind him!  
  
Lukkyosai challenged, "Swindler! You said I could HAVE   
  
her!!"  
  
Happo-chan told Lukkyosai, "Give her a chance to realize   
  
what's happened to her, You Old Fool!"   
  
  
  
The change in her transition had left Miss Hinako a   
  
little disoriented, "Oo...Oh! I feel different. But how? I   
  
have hips. I have breasts. I have the curves of...of a   
  
teenager?"   
  
Akane, and others noticed, "It's true!" Instead of   
  
having her VERY filled out adult form, Miss Hinako was now   
  
no more developed than some of the girls in class.   
  
(One male student said to his friend, "At least her skirt   
  
is as short as when she's ALL woman." The hem had moved up,   
  
revealing most of her slim legs.)  
  
(Meanwhile, Happosai Inkogu had casually walked back to   
  
sit on one of the toppled desk-chairs beside Ranma. It   
  
became an agonizing choice for the guys in class; which   
  
sexy body should they gawk at? "But SHE has a short shorts-  
  
--And garters!")  
  
Lukkyosai jumped from halfway across the room to in   
  
front of the teen teacher. He held up his coins, "I did it,   
  
Miss Hinako! I only gave you back 25-yen: HALF the satsu,   
  
"coin change" of 50-yen!"   
  
(Pulling himself out from under desks, Ranma said to   
  
Happosai, "It's more than just that! What did you do to   
  
her?!"   
  
(Happo-chan said, "It's a treatment that limits the   
  
amount of energy she can take in.  
  
(Ranma snorted, "Like that 30-day treatment you gave me   
  
to use on her!?!"  
  
(Happo-chan smiled, "Exactly.")  
  
Hinako looked down at the body she was not used to, "I   
  
am half way between the child I was, and, and the woman I   
  
was becoming??" She shook her head to clear it. She held up   
  
her coin, aiming it, "And if I release the energy I   
  
absorbed?"   
  
Lukkyosai told her, "You'll RETURN to being a child! As   
  
you've always have had to.   
  
"BUT: In this form you can hold onto the energy TWICE as   
  
long as when you are a grown adult, with half the effort."   
  
And he smiled, "As long as *I* continue the treatments."  
  
Miss Hinako snorted, "Hmh! I will STILL need to drain   
  
energy."   
  
Lukkyosai got a VERY crafty grin, "At your present age,   
  
*I* have enough energy for the both of us."   
  
A thought ran through the girl's head. Dared she hope?   
  
No! She turned her head away, too afraid to be disappointed   
  
again, "I have already TRIED having a constant supply of   
  
battle energy when I bought the Thai fighting fish. The   
  
strain was too much. I HAVE to become a child."   
  
Lukkyosai said, "Not as often, this way. And when you   
  
do...you won't have to be alone." Miss Hinako wondered what   
  
the boy meant by that. When she looked at him, he ate an   
  
Age Mushroom.   
  
At 8 centimeters, the mushroom made him as young as Miss   
  
Hinako's child form.   
  
But before anything else could happen, Akane stomped the   
  
300-year-old kid, "That's a perversion even HAPPOSAI didn't   
  
do!! I WON'T allow any pedo---" Miss Hinako was making a   
  
circle with her fingers.  
  
"Happo No-coin Satsu!"  
  
Ranma cried, "Akane, watch out!!" And he saved her from   
  
an energy blast just in time. He further protected her with   
  
his body when they fell against yet more desk-chairs,   
  
sending them to the floor as well.   
  
Young Hinako ran to the crumpled boy her age, "Are you   
  
alight? Did the mean, much bigger girl hurt you?"   
  
"Girls have ALWAYS been mean to me! It's SO unfair! I   
  
just want to be their friend!"  
  
///  
  
Akane was nearly in shock, "Miss Hinako ATTACKED a   
  
girl!??! I don't remember her EVER doing that: Just guys!"   
  
It had taken Shampoo and Kodachi invading the girls' PE   
  
basketball game and, along with Ukyou, attacking her for   
  
Hinako to do anything to a fellow female.   
  
Underneath her Ranma groaned, "Yeah. The two perverts   
  
must have done some kinda mind control on her, too."  
  
Happo-chan leaned over them in a way that the guys   
  
appreciated, "We did no such thing. Hinako is just tired of   
  
being alone."   
  
Akane stood up to her, "If she's lonely, it's YOUR   
  
fault! You're the one who changed her metabolism so she's   
  
can't grow as fast as she should!"   
  
"Hmh! And at the rate Hinako's growing, how old do you   
  
THINK she can become?" She went into her "poor,   
  
misunderstood me" mode, "She was sick in a hospital before   
  
I came along. I gave her chance to live three times her   
  
normal lifespan. Is it my fault that, like so many   
  
medicines, there's a side-effect?"   
  
Getting up, Ranma cried, "YES!"   
  
The act was dropped, "So I DON'T always know the all   
  
that'll happen with the techniques I come across: So SUE   
  
me!"   
  
Ranma rolled up his sleeve, "I'll do more than just   
  
that."   
  
(The buzz among the guys was, "Ranma's going to hurt a   
  
girl? What about his Code!?"/ "Please, don't mess her up,   
  
man! She's beautiful!")  
  
  
  
///  
  
Meanwhile, Kasumi had come up to the children with,   
  
"Juice boxes and cookies?"   
  
Lukkyosai the little boy asked, "Do you have any milk?"   
  
Hinako the little girl smiled, "You're not lactose   
  
intolerant, either?"   
  
Taking the small carton of milk, he told her, "I made   
  
myself an ultimate anti-poison pill over a century ago."   
  
Apparently, a mushroom that could make you younger OR older   
  
wasn't a poison. "Do you want to play house?"   
  
Hinako's smile became bigger, "You LIKE to play house?"   
  
Kasumi reminded her, "Oh, my, what a fun idea! But   
  
shouldn't you be attending to your school work, right now,   
  
Miss Hinako?"   
  
Miss Hinako blinked, trying to refocus on her   
  
responsibilities.   
  
Lukkyosai pleaded, "Runaway with me, Hinako! Please!   
  
Please!? I have a playhouse in the woods! We can be ALL by   
  
ourselves. No adults to bother us!"   
  
The little girl was tempted. But her shoulders slumped,   
  
her young voice sounded older, "No. I've worked too hard on   
  
growing up. I cannot abandon the duties it's taken me so   
  
long to acquire. I don't want to be Peter Pan." A tear   
  
formed in her eye, "I want to be Wendy!"   
  
Lukkyosai said sadly, "And I HAVE to be one of the Lost   
  
Boys. When I grow up, I become a lost man. A pervert."   
  
(Happo-chan was behind Ranma, controlling him with her   
  
"Happo Wide-Open Ears" technique. "Hear, Ranma: Like me,   
  
Lukkyosai WOULDN'T attack children!"  
  
(Ranma found it harder to attack her, "No: Just anything   
  
with boobs!!" Oh! Was that why he wanted to get away from   
  
adults? No! Once a pervert, always a pervert.)  
  
Miss Hinako's looked at him in a different light, "You   
  
can be a pervert?"  
  
Lukkyosai confessed, "Yes. But it easier to control when   
  
I'm this age. An eight-year-old boy has a natural antipathy   
  
in girls. AND, *he, hee* after all, like this, I'm not a   
  
dirty, OLD man."   
  
Hinako started seeing floating, brightly colored dots,   
  
"Ever since the class and I were stuck on that island with   
  
the Aloha virus, I've been thinking about...." Becoming   
  
red, she couldn't finish the thought.   
  
She suddenly put her arms around the little boy's neck,   
  
"Happo No-Yen Satsu!" Her aura reached out, and took in his   
  
energy. The little girl was replaced by the teenager. The   
  
young woman looked down at the now less energetic boy and   
  
pleaded, "You will molest me, won't you?!"  
  
(The class, guys and girls, facefaulted.)  
  
Feeling too drained for that at the moment, Lukkyosai   
  
smiled, "Only if you promise to treat me like a friend when   
  
I'm not. It's been AGES since I had a gal pal."   
  
Miss Hinako took the child by his small hand, "It's time   
  
to go to the next class? Will you join me?"   
  
Lukkyosai let her lead the way, "I'd be happy to."  
  
As the couple that looked like a big sister with her   
  
little brother exited, Kasumi asked, "Should I go with   
  
them. Am I still her assistant?"   
  
Akane blinked, "I think she has herself a new one."   
  
  
  
///  
  
The first period teacher came in, thinking it was at   
  
last safe to start his class. While he was directing the   
  
students on straightening up the room, Kasumi excused   
  
herself...  
  
Splash! Ranma dropped the pail of cold water, "I KNEW   
  
you'd try to walk in the girls' restroom. C'mon!" He   
  
grabbed the OLD Freak by the back of the purple ninja suit   
  
that now fit, "We're gonna have a little talk in the boys'   
  
can!"   
  
After kicking the little perv through the swinging door,   
  
Ranma was greeted by water spray from the sink. Happosai   
  
told the pigtailed girl, "Be thankful I didn't use TOILET   
  
water!!" Then he jumped for her bosom. "Come to Papa!"  
  
Ranma cried, "Moko Takabishi!!" releasing his "Flying   
  
Air of High Tiger" blast. The Old Fart went crashing into   
  
the far tile wall. And certain parts of Ranma's figure felt   
  
a sudden chill.   
  
She looked down and saw that---SOMEHOW---Happosai had   
  
taken off her clothes and dressed her in the purple   
  
lingerie, garter belt, hose, AND heels that he was wearing   
  
as a girl!! "What!??!?"  
  
From the floor, Happosai held up Ranma's Chinese   
  
clothes, "Quick Change Martial Artist" technique.   
  
Ranma ran, "Gimme back my clothes!!"   
  
Happosai leaped up on top of a stall door, threatening,   
  
"Come any closer, and I'll flush THEM!"   
  
A heel made Ranma turn her ankle as she stopped, and   
  
stumble, but she didn't fall.   
  
The dirty, old man laughed, "What a view! You want to   
  
know where I was so many times when you couldn't find me at   
  
home? I was up, ninja-style, near the ceiling! *Ha, ha,   
  
ha*"   
  
Ranma ground her teeth, "How did you do this? Could   
  
you've put me in girls' things anytime you wanted to?"  
  
Happosai sat down on the rim of the stall, "Perhaps. I   
  
really didn't care to find out. As I've said before. I   
  
could've done a HELL of a lot of things to you, AND to   
  
Hinako, for that matter, if I HAD been as bad as you   
  
imagined me to be. "The EVIL Master", as I've heard my   
  
ungrateful pupils call me." Ranma felt the lecher's eyes on   
  
her. "But when you threw cold water on me, that lovely   
  
ensemble became too much for this body, it had to go   
  
somewhere. And I decided it would go to the one wwho TOOK   
  
it from me!"   
  
Ranma was startled, "You mean I was wearing it as a,   
  
guy?"   
  
Happosai scoffed, "You still haven't noticed that Genma,   
  
Ryoga, and Mousse get their clothes back after they return   
  
from being animals? Only Shampoo and YOU don't." He gave   
  
the redhead a challenging stare, "Shampoo's a natural   
  
exhibitionist at heart. What does that make YOU?!"  
  
That thought stabbed at Ranma's sense of manhood. (And   
  
it didn't help that her soft body was adopting subtle   
  
changes in her posture. The silky things were causing her   
  
girl persona to accent their sexiness.) But, "No! They   
  
wouldn't have fitted me! I was a guy! I was TOO big for   
  
them!"   
  
"*Ha, ha* And you STILL haven't noticed that you use the   
  
power of Juusenkyo only to resize the female clothes you   
  
find yourself in! I dare say as long as your subconscious   
  
thinks of something as female, you could bend steel to keep   
  
it on you. Oh! *Ha, ha* That's right, you already HAVE done   
  
that: With the iron corset of Madam St. Paul!" Should the   
  
iron corset molded to her petit frame REALLY have fitted   
  
his larger male one!?!   
  
Before Ranma could reject that idea, somebody came   
  
rushing into the boys' restroom. And here girl-Ranma was in   
  
sexy underwear!  
  
Daisuke just had to slow down when he saw her, "Oh, MAN!   
  
What a time to get lucky!" But he could only slow down. He   
  
continued on to the nearest stall; all the time he was   
  
going, "Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man..." Backing into the   
  
stall, he said, "I hope Nabiki has pictures of Ranma like   
  
this."   
  
Slam! Ranma kept his stall door closed; she yelled at   
  
the old pervert, "I can't go around like this!!"   
  
Happosai told her, "Let me get some hot water from the   
  
tap, and I'll show you the flip-side of the Juusenkyo   
  
power. Without touching you, I'll put ON what you're   
  
wearing."   
  
///  
  
Just as suddenly as Happosai had changed back into a   
  
blue-eyed blonde so her purple ninja suit barely covered   
  
her tall, slim body. Happo-chan held the nude redhead's   
  
clothes just out of her reach, "NOW, will you listen to   
  
me?"   
  
Taking them, Ranma said, "I will." Then as she hurriedly   
  
put them on, she muttered, "I would've listened if you'da   
  
said anything before."  
  
(Daisuke could be heard lamenting from his seat, "Oh,   
  
ma-an! Here I am missing the show.")  
  
Happo-chan explained, "Lakkyosai and I were in a   
  
contest. Meeting again after all those decades, and putting   
  
our differences aside reminded us of what we once were.   
  
And, *Sigh*, what we had lost. We wanted to find a way out   
  
of the cursed form we had been trapped in for centuries."  
  
"That was the reason Lucky had gone back to Juusenkyo.   
  
He was looking for the "Spring of Young Girl"." She shook   
  
her blond head sadly. "That was why I was at the springs   
  
when Pantyhose Taro was born. I, too, had been thinking   
  
about taking another chance at life."  
  
Fastening her shirt, Ranma, "So Lukkyosai dove into the   
  
"Young Kid" one. What an idiot."   
  
Happosai started for the door (wiggling her hips), "The   
  
idiot is the one who thinks she can just walk UP to the   
  
"Spring of Drowned Young Man"."   
  
"Yeah, I guess--- Unh!?!! Hey!! What do you mean by   
  
that?!!" She forgot to button up all the way, revealing   
  
some cleavage.   
  
Out in the hall, Happosai seemed to not hear, "Lucky   
  
always did have poor luck. Thus the irony of his nickname.   
  
Because he has become cursed again, he can never become a   
  
girl again. ...Well, not a genuine one, anyway."   
  
Ranma reached up and put her hand on her shoulder,   
  
"What!? Tell me what you mean!!"  
  
Happo-chan warned the girl about the touching her, "Do   
  
you want the school to see you buck naked?"   
  
"YES!"  
  
Ranma yelled, "Daisuke!!"  
  
"I won our contest, of course. Thanks to the Flower of   
  
Youth. But I decided to give my friend Lucky a consolation   
  
prize, as it were. Yeah, that's it. For old times sake."   
  
Her voice then became more a mutter, "I still have to watch   
  
my back. He's jealous of that I have what he can't have.   
  
Ah, it was the same way with Kumo, my pet cloud."   
  
Because of Daisuke's was standing behind her, looking   
  
down her cleavage, Ranma had become distracted enough to   
  
button up. She now refocused on Happosai, "Why can't I find   
  
the "Spring of Drowned Man"?! What will happen if I DO find   
  
the spring?!! You said I'm gonna be TRAPPED as a girl one   
  
day: I need answers here!!"  
  
Happo-chan smiled, "...At least now Lucky will be able   
  
to have a friend who he can do some female things with. --  
  
And he can be a provide the mature conversations Hinako so   
  
yens for. (As well as *Cackle* other adult entertainment.)"  
  
Coming out of the girls' restroom, Kasumi said, "Oh, my,   
  
how thoughtful of you, Grand--- uh, Miss Happosai."   
  
Happosai said, "Yes. I think so."  
  
Ranma wanted to tear her hair out, "Why is everybody   
  
ignoring me!?"  
  
(Daisuke said, "I'm not ignoring you. ...Nice butt.")   
  
The woman who was a little taller than Kasumi asked,   
  
"May I escort you home, my dear Kasumi?"  
  
"Oh, my. Don't you have to be in school?"   
  
Ranma cried, "Yeah!"  
  
"I don't HAVE to be anywhere. Nobody does. High school   
  
isn't mandatory in Japan." And especially at lenient   
  
Furinkan, as they all should have known, considering all   
  
the school days Ranma and Akane had had to miss because of   
  
one crisis or another.   
  
Kasumi dithered a little, "Well, I do have to get back   
  
home to the housework."   
  
Happo-chan said, "That's already taken care of, my dear.   
  
My faithful students, Soun and Genma are even now taking   
  
care of those tasks. The Flower of Womanhood has them being   
  
the perfect maids." For an instant, Ranma had the image of   
  
Mr. Tendou polishing woodwork while his pop the panda was   
  
using a wok. Both were wearing frilly aprons. She tried to   
  
shake the image out of her red head.  
  
Kasumi looked for something else she could do, "I   
  
suppose I could do the shopping."   
  
Happo-chan suggested, "Why don't we take Soun and Genma   
  
with you. It will ease your mind." Ranma flashed, now, on   
  
the martial arts squad that Pink and Link had used to   
  
demonstrated their "Flower of Womanhood". They had gone   
  
from warriors to girly-men who KNEW how to cook, knit and   
  
do the laundry!  
  
Then it added up for Ranma, " "Ease your mind"? ---  
  
You're plannin' on takin' Kasumi away with you!" Just like   
  
what Lukkyosai was planning to do with Miss Hinako!!   
  
"Kasumi, RUN!! Get away!"   
  
"OH, my! You startled me, Ranma!"   
  
Happo-chan warned, "What have I said about interfering   
  
in my business!?!"   
  
Well, if Kasumi wasn't going to make a move to save   
  
herself, Ranma would! While Happo-chan's aura started   
  
growing, seemingly turning her into a giant, Ranma blasted   
  
her way THROUGH the projection, "Moko Takabishi!!"   
  
The growing woman seemed to collapse in on the flesh-  
  
and-blood Happo-chan.  
  
Yes! The transition was Happo-chan's weak point! While   
  
her energy was being used to establish the platform for her   
  
technique, she couldn't USE it! Ranma had guessed right   
  
again. When it came to the big things, she was the best!   
  
The nude petite martial artist lifted Kasumi up in her   
  
arms, "Come on! We gotta get you some place safe while we   
  
still can!"   
  
Kasumi said, "I don't think Miss Happo-chan will harm   
  
me."   
  
"I'm COUNTIN' on it. 'Cause she WILL harm me!"   
  
As Ranma bound as quickly as her short legs could carry   
  
her towards the stairwell, an embarrassed Kasumi said," Uh,   
  
Ranma, shouldn't you put something on? It isn't right to go   
  
around in public, uh, without clothes."   
  
Frustrated, Ranma said, "That DAMNED "Quick Change"   
  
thing of hers!! But I can't worry about that now!" But a   
  
part of her mind use Kasumi as her cover.  
  
Ranma tried to pick up speed by sliding down the   
  
handrail on her bare butt. Not sweaty enough, she had to   
  
take half-a-dozen stairs at a time.   
  
Happo-chan, her hands free, was able to surf down the   
  
handrails between her heels. When she came to the turn at   
  
the landing, she merely bounced off the opposite wall, and   
  
land on the next rail, "Give me back my idol! She's MY   
  
responsibility!!"   
  
Knowing that Happo-chan would get in front of them at   
  
the next flight of stairs, Ranma zagged, and slapped bare   
  
feet down the hall of the second floor, "Aw, MAN! Even if   
  
she wants Kasumi more 'n me, that pervert's GOTTA want me   
  
naked!" The thought gave her more speed.  
  
Hearing familiar voices, Nabiki had opened classroom 2-  
  
E's door, "Ranma!! Through here!"   
  
(Kasumi waved, "Hello, Nabiki.")  
  
Seeing no other option, Ranma ducked inside. Not only   
  
was Nabiki ready for her with her camera, but so, too, were   
  
her two associates on either side. But since Kasumi was in   
  
the way, they waited until they got a rear view of the   
  
pigtailed girl to use their flashes.  
  
(Kuno had cried, "The Pigtailed Goddess...is nude..."   
  
before being shoved aside and stepped on by the other guys   
  
in class, vying to get the best view.)  
  
When the sexy, blond Happo-chan came in, she stepped in   
  
a pail of water that just happened to be in her path. Her   
  
long legs became instantly short. The now wrinkled, old man   
  
stumbled because the floor wasn't where he had been   
  
expecting it to be. Camera flashes further disoriented him.   
  
He rolled across the floor, knocking over desk-seats.   
  
This gave Ranma enough time to break through a window   
  
using her back and leap with Kasumi from the second story   
  
to the ground.  
  
Nabiki said, "Oo! This should only be attempted by a   
  
trained professional. Of course, Ranma never trained for   
  
that."  
  
The Old Freak got to his feet, "Nabiki!! You will pay   
  
for interfering!!"   
  
Popping the film out of her camera, she said, "I'm   
  
sorry, Happosai, but it WAS my duty as Kasumi's sister, you   
  
know. Even you have to respect the Code of Family."  
  
Happosai made a face that said he did understand. He   
  
didn't have to like it. He warned her, "Be careful, Nabiki:   
  
One day you will go too far." With that, he leaped out of   
  
the broken window, to continue his quest.   
  
But he left something behind on the floor. It was an   
  
ancient looking scroll. The force of her mere presence made   
  
the others in class make way for her as she approached it.   
  
When Nabiki opened it, she saw that, "It's a map." But a   
  
map of what? The characters were in Chinese. Though she   
  
couldn't read Chinese, there were words she could read in   
  
ANY language. She recognized the ideograph for, "Gold! Is   
  
this a treasure map?"  
  
`  
  
The End... 


End file.
